Clothes & Accessories

My Journey Back To Skinny Jeans Land- My Mother Now Wears Skinny Jeans

Yes, Possums, shoot me dead! The woman, also known as my mother, is now wearing skinny jeans!

It is enough to make my eyes water!

And now I have to take her to discount designer places, you know the places that say they are discount designer, but there are nothing “designer” about them.

“What’s wrong with this one?” I asked.

“It is not showing enough skin!” my mother replied. “Do they carry any leather tops? I want to feel sexy.”

“Mom, what are you into dominatrix, stuff?”

“What is that?” she asks.

Ava answered, “It is when a woman dominates a man and gets him to do all sorts of things beyond his will.”

“It’s what you have been doing to dad all these years!” I added.

“Oh, well, then yes, I am into…what is it called again, dominatrix?” she answered as she trotted off to the nearest sales boy.

“Hi, there, yes, do you have nice tops for a dominatrix?” she asked.

Possums, the sales man’s face turned as white as a ghost. Did I add that he was already white! As he tried to regain his bearings, I kindly pushed her to the back of the store. We eventually left with a few skimpy tops, but sadly, for her, none of them were leather.
I then had to drive her around a few places, cause it is in the middle of the friggin’ winter and not a lot of places have little itty-bitty things. And besides, these things, in my opinion can’t be that itty-bitty, cause Possums, have you met my mother? There is nothing itty-bitty on her, but maybe her pinky toe!

When I got home, I was sitting on my toilet, in my zebra-filled bathroom and in front of me I saw my Vogue magazine with Gisele Bündchen and Lebron James, the basket ball player, on its cover. I recall years ago the uproar this simple cover started. Everyone was upset that there was a white model with a black man on the cover of a fashion magazine. What was the uproar in that? I still can’t see it. Maybe it was suppose to be sensational on Anna Wintour’s part, but now when I look at it, I see a magazine striving (albeight, slowly) for change.

Look at Miss Gisele now. She took on a man who just broke up with his girlfriend, who later found out she was pregnant. Then she decided to stay and become this little boy’s stepmother. Miss Model is now married and blessed with a small son of her own! Then I got to thinking of my mother. Possums, I can’t lie, you should have seen the look on her face as she carried her choices around the store. She looked so happy! The tinier the cloth of the tops got, the bigger her smile became. I know I would be doing the world a disservice for letting her roam about the world in these things, but she deserved to be so happy. It may seem like a small thing, but for a old lady like her, it seemed like the world.

Sometimes, in life you need to not only encourage yourself, but your friends to change even their outward appearance. I don’t think it is shallow, I think it is life saving! When you see yourself in the mirror, sometimes it is that extra oomph you need. And trust me when I say this, that such positive change will watch it trickle down to other areas of your life, as well.

And did I mention she now sashays when she walks! Yes, Possums, the woman, also known as my mother, sashays!

It is like watching two small Sharpei fight under a pair of denim!

About the Author

Lucresia Linton is a Jazz singer and founder of the new dating websites adonisunited.com and jazznymph.com. Miss Linton, writes daily about dating, sex, love and relationships on her blog at lucresialinton.com.

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Camp Rock Shane Gray Final Jam Costume $9.99 Your son will love playing Camp Rock this Halloween in our Shane Gray Costume for boys. This officially licensed Disney costume has everything he’ll need to become Shane Gray himself. The grey pants come with straight cut legs in a knit fabric akin to denim. Hip and rear pockets can be found near the waist along with small silver studs like a real pair of jeans. The black jacket comes with long sleeves in a faux leather fabric that looks as good as the real thing. The jacket’s chest has a stitched on patch for extra rocker flare. The knit shirt comes with short sleeves and a crew neckline. The black and white horizontal stripes help to offset it against the solid black of the jacket and the grey tone used for the pants. Try this costume with a microphone or any of our other rocker accessories to complete his look in time for the big show.